Brave, Brave Sir Draco
by lady-of-the-shadows89
Summary: A quiet walk in the Forbidden Forest, a bit of singing, and a bet between friends, what could possibly happen? MWAHAHA, Now has three chapters,WOW!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter or related characters JKR does, I do not own the song 'Brave Sir Robin', the boys from Monty Python do.  
  
A/N; just another fic written on the spur of the moment, I do this a lot now, Mwahaha. I don't even know why I did that. I guess I wrote this story coz when I was reading the lyrics for 'Brave Sir Robin' I could just imagine harry singing it, so, here's the fic MWAHAHA.  
  
Brave, Brave Sir Draco  
  
"I love walking in the forbidden forest at night, don't you, Draco?"  
  
"Not particularily, Potter, unlike you I am niether suicidal, nor a wannabe hero."  
  
"Oh, Harry, leave poor Draco alone. He's obviously scared out of his wits."  
  
"I'm not scared, Granger, I would never be."  
  
"Hey, Harry,"  
  
"Yeah, Ron?"  
  
"I think we know the perfect song for this occasion, remember that muggle movie that we watched when we were at 'mione's house, Munkey Python, Search for the Holly Groll?"  
  
"Ron, it's called 'Monty Python, and the Search for the Holly Grail', that's a good movie, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, yes, guy's, it was a good movie and all, but what does it have to do with Malfoy?"  
  
"Harry, do you remember that song about Sir Robin?"  
  
"Oh, I see where this is going."  
  
"Oh, please you three, this fic isn't a musical."  
  
"Well it is now Malfoy."  
  
Suddenly, the forest is flooded with light, as if it is the middle of the day. Harry, Ron and Hermione are walking along behind Malfoy. Music starts playing out of no-where and the trio starts to sing a jaunty tune.  
  
"Bravly bold Draco rode forth from Hogwarts School, He was not afraid to die O brave Draco. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, Brave, brave, brave Draco."  
  
Draco looks around, a sligtly worried expression on his face. But he refuses to let their stupid song get to him.  
  
"He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken, To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, Brave, Draco."  
  
Draco looks around please, please don't let any of this stuff really happen, I'm too good-looking to die, thinks Draco, he thought he saw something move in the shadow of a large tree and jumped noticably oh hell, he thought.  
  
"His head smashed in and his heart cut out, His liver removed and his bowls unplugged, And his nostrils raped and his bottem burned off, And his pen."  
  
Draco cut them off and shrieked (yes shrieked) in his most girly voice; "Would you lot stop singing that infernal song!?! Nothing is going to happen to my penis!"  
  
Harry and Ron exchanged evil glances and Hermione grinned like a chechire cat. "Well," said Harry "we wouldn't have used that line, but it was the only line that would fit the song, I know that it wouldn't get damaged because nothing would be able to find it!"  
  
Everyone turned and looked at Harry, "And you would know, wouldn't you Potter? You FREAK, you look at other GUYS, O MY GOD, YOU ARE A PUFTER!"  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow, "Good lord Malfoy, you don't think that I'd look on purpose do you?"  
  
"Then how'd you see? Hmmmmmmmm? Answer me that!"  
  
"Draco, it was virtually impossible not to see, remember when the Slytherin dressing-rooms were closed, and the Slytherin Quidditch team had to use the same showers an' stuff as the Gryffindors?"  
  
Ron shuddered, "I remember," he said. "You had a towl wrapped around your waist and you were yelling something at Angelina and then Fred ran past and grabbed the towl. it was funny at the time, but then I started having nightmares and Madame Pomfrey had to give me a sleeping potion."  
  
Harry finnished what Ron had been saying; "I think that the whole Quiddich team saw you in all your, ahem. glory. So don't get snippy with me, Malfoy."  
  
Suddenly, what sounded like a wolf's howl ripped through the uncomfortable silence, Draco turned and started walking back the way he had come, so the three Gryffindors resumed their song.  
  
"Brave Draco ran away, Bravly ran away, away. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravly turned his tail and fled, Yes, Brave Draco turned about, And gallently he chickened out, Bravly taking to his feet, He beat a very brave retreat, Bravest of the brave, Draco."  
  
The trio looked at each-other as Draco turned a corner and they heard a slightly histerical 'shut-up' yelled back at them so.  
  
"He's packing it in and packing it up, And sneaking away and buggering up, And chickening out and pissing off home, Yes, bravly he is throwing in the sponge!"  
  
Sirius Black steped out from behind a tree, "Well, guys, I didn't think it was possible, but there you go, you made that son-of-a, a Malfoy run away, well I guess I owe you guys then."  
  
Sirius handed them a bag each and told them that each bag contained 50 Galleons, because he had bet the three of them 150 Galleons between them, then he transformed into the big black dog and dissapeared between the trees.  
  
THE END!  
  
A/N; just a bit of fun so don't go getting offendend or nuffink, no, no! Come back, don't run away. *Runs after the people who ran away*  
  
DRACO: Please review or she might go mad. SHADOW: I'm already mad, how long'd it take you to figure that out? 


	2. Oh please, this fic isn't a musical

DISCLAIMER: I Don't own the characters, never did, never will, I'm not getting money, I only own the plot, or lack of plot, whatever.  
  
A/N: Once again, this was on a spur of the moment, I just felt like typing, hope you like it, if you don't, that's too bad for you. Please R&R. That is all, enjoy. MWAHAHA.  
  
Oh please, this fic isn't a musical.  
  
Voldemort was unhappy. That is not saying much though, because, I'm sure that if you had, once-again, failed to kill a cirtain Boy-who won't-friggin- die-coz-he's-the boy-who-lived-only-to-PISS-ME-OFF. Then you would be in a bad mood too, his death-eaters were also fully aware of this fact, so they were trying to steer-clear of him, not working, not working AT ALL! Simply because Voldie was aware that they were avoiding him and kept finding reasons to call them. He is smarter than he looks, which is better than looking smarter than you are, anyhow.  
  
As I said (wrote?) Voldemort was not a happy chappy, he wanted to murder, torture, go to Disneyland, anything to take his mind off the tediousness (is that even a word?) of not being the supream ruler of the earth.  
  
#*#*#  
  
(SHADOW: Voldie would just.  
  
VOLDEMORT: I would never go to disneyland that is an insult to my beliefs, (spits) and I.  
  
SHADOW: You will be cleaning that up, RIGHT NOW!  
  
VOLDEMORT: yes ma'am.)  
  
#*#*#  
  
Voldemort had a sudden inspiration, what if.  
  
He called the Death-Eaters, all of them and told them his plan.  
  
#*#*#  
  
Lucius Malfoy looked up in horror and cried-out: "but sir, this fic isn't a musical."  
  
Voldemort looked back at him, his head tilted to the side, and smiled, this was fun already.  
  
"Well," he said, "it is now, Malfoy, and for that little outburst, I think that you can go first."  
  
A singing contest, and it was compulsary for all Death-Eaters to enter.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.  
  
#*#*#  
  
SHADOW: Is it just me? Or does it seem like the Malfoys have something against musicals?  
  
DRACO: It's something against musicals.  
  
SHADOW: Oh.  
  
DRACO: (backs away slightly) Why've you you gone all quiet? You're starting to scare me.  
  
SHADOW: I'm just tired.  
  
DRACO: Oh. OK.  
  
SHADOW: Anyway, the usual chocolate and the survices of Draco if you review. Enjoy!  
  
DRACO: Yes please review, it would be nice to get out of this basement for a while. It's scary in here, everyone's crazy. 


	3. O Dark Lord Please Don't Burn Us

SHADOW: So, here we are, with another spectacular chapter, OK. So, Draco, do you want to do the disclaimer?  
  
DRACO: Whatever, anyway, Shadow does not own Harry Potter, or related characters, places or events. FINISHED THE DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SHADOW: Didn't I tell you?  
  
DRACO: Tell me what?!?!  
  
SHADOW: I own Malfoy Manor, JKR gave it to me for my birthday, which was on Christmas Eve.  
  
DRACO: Oh. Shadow, who is that?  
  
SHADOW:**looks around and sees a man in a suit, carrying a breif-case** Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
WARNING: This fic HAS got the aspects of a musical and it CAN kill you. well, not really, but anyway-MWAHAHA  
  
Oh Dark Lord, Please Don't Burn Us.  
  
Lucius Malfoy stood horrifyed, but then he had a stroke of genious, as is only fitting for a Malfoy.  
  
Lucius hurried off to find Nott and Avary, and to set his plan into action.  
  
***  
  
Nott turned quickly to face Lucius, "Are you mad?! It's probably against the rules!"  
  
***  
  
The three men faced Voldemort, looking quite shaken, they were quite shaken, that being the reason that they looked shaken. RIGHT.  
  
Voldemort looked at them looking shaken (I'm fairly sure that's how 'shaken' is spelt, if not, oh well) then motioned for the music to be started.  
  
Lucius Malfoy shuddered, then all three sang in perfect key:  
  
"Oh dark lord please don't burn us, Don't grill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbeque, Or simmer us in stock. Don't braise or bake or boil us, Or stir-fry us in a wok. Oh please don't lightly poach us, Or baist us in hot fat. Don't fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in a vat. And please don't stick thy servants, Lord, In a rotissomat."  
  
The silence was deafaning (that's a vry contridictary statement. HA, contridictary.).  
  
Then Voldemort couldn't help himself, he cracked-up laughing, all the death- eaters started laughing too, except for Lucius Malfoy, who was glad his plan had worked..  
  
Or had it?  
  
(DRACO: This story has no plot, and it isn't even a story.  
  
SHADOW: yeah it does, it has got a plot, its just hard to find..  
  
DRACO: No, it doesn't, it's plotless.  
  
VOLDEMORT: But I'm in this story, that has to be a good thing.  
  
SHADOW+DRACO: shut-up!  
  
SHADOW: and go and get me some orange sherbert..  
  
VOLDEMORT: I will go and get you some orange sherbert..  
  
DRACO: **sideways look**  
  
SHADOW: You should be scared.  
  
DRACO: I am.)  
  
Voldemort stopped laughing, as did all the death-eaters, "All right, who's up next?"  
  
The death-eaters shuffled their feet and looked around to see who would be going next, finally, Goyle-the-senior put-up his hand.  
  
TBC  
  
SHADOW:**holds up official-looking documents** Ha! There's your smoking gun! **bashes the man over the head with his own breif-case** Now get out of my basement.  
  
DRACO: Alrighty then-  
  
VOLDEMORT: Here is your orange sherbert.  
  
SHADOW: Thanks.  
  
DRACO: You watch too many muggle movies.  
  
SHADOW: So, we in the basement hope that you've enjoyed our ficcie so far, you can show your appriciation by reviewing, but please, no flame, coz I'm going to the Tamworth music festival.  
  
DRACO: Yay!  
  
SHADOW: **sideways look** but nice reveiwers get chocolate, and the services of Draco. Enjoy! 


End file.
